ELIN 선희
What can i say?I'm unique. And i'm not like other girls. I am myself.Just me. the girl ELIN YONG :)
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我很奇怪。
很久很久前, 我是一个对什么人我都会好, 只是好不是很好.. 是真心吗? 对的,是真心. 但是只是没有特别的 “最好”.. 后来, 自己想了很想被人重视.. 那种被重视的感觉真的很好, 有谁会想被忽视呢? 开始自己在初中一找自己所谓的知心朋友.. 找跟自己合得来的朋友..
只是没想到那个最初最不可能最没有几率的那个女生现在竟然成为我最重视的好朋友.. 
为什么最不可能最没有几率? 原因很好笑就因为她是ABC.. 我很坦白告诉你我英文烂所以不敢和他们打交道.. 我知道我的性格一路以来都是大大咧咧、很是男生.. 而这女孩却是那么的斯文.. 怎么看都不搭吧? 可是到后来这样的搭档竟然是可以那么的和谐又那么搞笑的组合..
虽然那时我把她列入好友列表, 但那不是最好的.. 想想以前我真是坏.. 当你很重视的那个人原来并不怎么重视你的那种心情, 我想她有感受过吧.. 很是对不起她.. 当然曾经的我也尝试过这种滋味, 所以我了解.. 甚至因为她的直肠子过于坦率的性子, 让我感到懊恼.. 也是正是因为她这样的性格让我很喜欢她.. 让我跟她成为我我最好的朋友.. 当然我还有好朋友 (是谁我就不多说了, 我想你们感觉得到)..
当中我了解到一个理念 : 好朋友, 是口头上说交就交的吗? 如果心不能达成一致, 说好朋友, 那些都是屁话.. 说白一点, 好朋友就是一种默契, 不用说, 有了默契就会自然成为好朋友.. 而我跟她有了这份默契..
我跟她并没有像其他女生那样叫对方Darling Darling, Honey Honey 的.. 这种看似很好但实际上有多少是真心的? 很假也很恶心..
这种亲昵的叫法不适合我, 也不适合她.. 而我们只会用卑劣的叫法 贱人啊, 猥人啊.. 那种自在且不拘泥的叫法更让我感到更多的亲切感.. 更多是打打架、顶下嘴 
(当然都是我在让她的..
).. 我们这种看似不好却比任何人都还要在乎对方..
话说, 虽然我跟她是很要好的朋友.. 但我很少谈我的心事.. 谈的都是开心事.. 我不单纯, 我也不否认我不简单.. 说重了, 你可以说我心机重.. 我也不在乎.. 我也不懂所谓心机重的定义, 就是口是心非, 里表不一? 对我来说只有隐藏自己与伪装的概念.. 隐藏自己与伪装自己是两个不同的理念.. 心事我很少说尤其伤心事从来都不喜欢跟人提起, 也不喜欢别人问起, 这叫隐藏.. 而有些东西, 是表露得与心里不一样的东西, 那叫做伪装, 太假太假的, 那就叫演戏..
你会问为什么不说出来呢? 你不够信任她吗? 不为什么也不是不够信任她就因为那是我的性格.. 就好像你生出来是女的就是女的 是男的就是男的.. 这是无法改变的.. 呵呵, 就算你去做变性手术.. 但你骨子里还是你原来性别.. 会! 我还是会跟她说.. 但都是事发过后的很久, 等我平复心情的时候才会告诉她.. 如果事发刚发生不久, 就告诉她.. 我知道我会说着说着就会哭嘛.. 我不喜欢这样的我, 很是懦弱.. 我很感性对亲情友情很执着很敏感..(为什么没有爱情? 呵, 还没遇到..再说吧.. ) 通常都只有这两情让我流泪..
每个人都有不开心的时候, 有些人需要别人言语上的安慰、有些人只想有人静静地陪在身旁.. 而我就是那类人.. 对我来说最好的安慰不是什么关怀的话语, 而是默默地陪在身边, 任由自己发泄内心的所有不快乐.. 再拍一拍肩膀意示自己：没关系, 你还有我. 
有时她会抱怨.. 我从不怪她因为我知道我心情低落的时候, 很让人不爽、很是抓狂.. 
(我也不想滴).. 有时候, 我在想我那么难理解吗? 那么難以捉摸? 我只是不喜欢别人知道我真正的想法, 却又很渴望有人可以了解我在想什么..很是矛盾.. 
算了, 还是别试着了解我.. 也许还没开始了解我就被我那五颜六色的情绪给雷死.. 我很爱笑但你永远都不懂我的笑有几分是真有几分是假.. 却不是笑里藏刀那种.. 如果我讨厌你, 别指望我对你笑.. 我没有一定的东西.. 可能这次我要的是东但是下次要的是西再下下次也许就要北.. 有时直接未必是不件好事.. 该直接的是时候, 我会很直接、不转弯抹角.. 我觉得我是个很有思想的人.. 不对, 应该是 “思想”.. 想很多一些有的没的.. 很多为什么 然后自己找出真相.. 所以说好奇心可以杀死一只猫.. 我最恨别人欺骗我, 但是别误会, 欺骗跟隐藏是栽然不同.. 隐藏是像我那样拿手之最, 而欺骗… 分别在哪儿, 聪明的你应该不用我说明吧? 再来, 别试着用试探的口吻来审问我.. 有本事摊开来说, 大不了面子丢了.. 
其次, 也很恨别人怀疑我诬赖我..
后来, 让我彼有印象的其中一位NS朋友.. 在一次交谈中, 她毫无焦点茫然地看着我然后一开口竟然问我: “你.. 到底在想什么的?” 我坦然一笑.. 我想她应该被我深奥的火星文雷到了.. (我个人对很会说话的人特有好感.. 就是那种说话很有艺术的人..
) 离开那个kem时, 她在我制服上留言: “有时候, 太过于理智不是件好事.. 试着让你的头脑停止运作, 让心带你走.. 有些事情不是你想象中的那么糟糕..” 我才知道原来她明白我在说舍.. 她问的那句话的意思大概是为什么我的思想会那么复杂吧? 我的理智总是胜过感情.. 也常常被理智冲昏了头, 总喜欢把脑袋东西分析的清清楚楚.. 也因为这样我常常在潜意识跟自己拔河很矛盾很烦恼.. 但一旦我狠下心决定了一件事, 十头牛都拉不回.. 也多谢这个过于理智脑子, 让我能容易与人相处.. 在跟每个不同的人不同的交谈中.. 我都很认真地观察很认真地分析很认真地打量.. 然后脑里大概知道说话的人是怎样的一个人, 什么话能说什么话不能说.. 但如果你要我描述的话, 我又说不出.. “你不要在那里吹吡吡啦.. ” 也许你会觉得我在吹水.. 但是确实是有那样的能力.. 如果我肯的话, 我人际关系就不会那么稀薄.. 我很宅又超被动, 而且又不喜欢到处跟人打哈哈.. 太伪装所以不喜欢也不肯那么做.. 我不喜爱让不要紧的人介入我的生活圈子。
哇, 我很
竟然说那么多关于自己.. 能说的也只能那么多了, 再多的就没有了.. 
Don’t Edit and Don’t Remove credit please ^^
ofmg he’s STUNNING look at those eyes ;o;
OMGGG.. BOYFRIEND!
LIES CUT THE HEART. SECRETS SCAR THE SOUL.
This is the last post about you. The last thought about you.
I feel like this isn’t real life. That i will just wake up and this never happened, that it was all a nightmare. But it’s not, no matter how many times i convinced myself. I keep thinking that this is temporary but i know it’s not. To be honest, I did not know you’re already in relationship until yesterday you told me. I was only thought you fall for the girl that you told me she was your scandal and all the pictures was your cousin but actually not. WOW, can’t believe it YOU REALLY GOOD IN LYING. You lied it like the sun rises in the east, so naturally. I was stupid enough to believe your lies! You make me feel like I’m such a JOKE. When you apologized like you did something super wrong, i felt that is something wrong and that’s why i asked you to tell the truth to me. I was praying that truth wasn’t like i thought. ”Please don’t make me regret everything I’ve ever felt for you.” But it still did. You will never know how painful it is when you believe in the person with all your heart but end up it was just a LIE. My hand was shaking while replying your messages. I was crying so hard that i can’t breathe while replying your messages. I even use my hand to cover my mouth to mute my choking sound. Just to avoid letting my brothers know i’m crying. It would be world war 4 if they know. That moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that breaks your heart. Could you ever know and imagine that? It like a knife stab in your heart and twist it 360 degree. No, it is beyond on that. Everything was crystal clear after you told me the truth. I’m such an idiot, i should noticed when u said can i fix you to be a better person cause u scare to hurt someone heart. Is it i really didn’t noticed or i act like i didn’t noticed? So ironic isn’t it? Really overestimated myself from accepting the truth. that my heart couldn’t handle it. even though i knew it was coming, but it still so hurt. My heart has just been ripped out of my chest and broken into a hundred million pieces. and now i’m collecting it back one by one.
I’m strong, because I know what it’s like to be weak; I keep a guard, because I know what it’s like to cry myself to sleep. People ask me why it’s so hard to trust people, and i ask them why is it so hard to keep a promise? I don’t trust people easily, so when someone close to me hurts me I just distance myself from them. Makes it easier. That the reason i’m single for 18 years, afraid of being hurt. But you. You make me put down my invisible guard that protected me for 18 years. I start letting down my guard day by day when i slowly believe in you. But you are the reason again, the reason i put my guard back up. The only different is the guard become thicker could be double layers or maybe triple layers that tightly surrounded a heart in pieces. Because of you, you make me more more afraid to falling in love. Thanks to you. I grew too comfortable with you. I thought you’d always be there, but I was wrong. Silly me. Just because you apologized doesn’t mean my heart is magically fixed. The more you apologize the more i dislike you. It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I shouldn’t care about you, but I do. I should hate you, but I don’t. No, i’m not gonna hate you. LIFE is too short, to waste time hating anyone. If i hate you. you will always in my mind. So, i don’t. From the last post, i said you’ll always be in my heart and all the shits. Whatever I said, I take it all back. Now, I just want to not think of you. I just want this to all go away to save me from the pain.
I wish I could go back to the day I first met you and just walk away. It would’ve saved me so much hurt and pain. The worst mistake i have made in my life is letting you stay in my life longer than you deserve. You don’t deserve to have a smile a miss from me anymore. The last smile for you. Is the most bitter smile ever in my life. You’re so mean to me. You even ask me to give you a last smile for you while i’m here crying like hell?
Could we be friends? No after you broke my heart so deep. We are not friends. We are strangers with memories now. Each tear is an unforgettable memory, each smile is an undeniable mark and each heartbreak is an uneraseable scar. But soon, We will become a real strangers again to each other. Because one day, all the memories, tears, and pain will go away. You had me at hello, and lost me at goodbye. And everything in between, it was just a LIE. I won’t let all these things holding me back. I don’t want I’ve lost the moon while counting the stars. Every girl deserves a guy who can make her forget that her heart was ever broken. So, I’m gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well. Yeah I’m still smiling. But you’re not the reason anymore. Someone else in the future is. Maybe and is just maybe all of this, you just sitting at your chair and said “who the hell care about you and your feeling? i ain’t even mad. I’m just toying your feeling from the start till the end. HAHAHA.” So you treat me like a joke, then watch me leave you like it’s funny. Just saying.
Imma gonna throw all the memories between us.
IF YOU ARE READING THIS :
Don’t make a girl fall for you if you have no intentions of catching her. Quit acting like you’re single when you’re in a relationship. Have some respect for your other half. If you gonna act single, then BE single. You should be grateful that you got a GF like her. I guarantee she’s totally was not ok with it. She said she ok and forgive you it is because she so love you and still want you to be in her life. Life doesn’t have an eraser. So think before you do something. Girls TRUST. once you get it, it’s Priceless, but once you lose it, you are Useless. Don’t make her your number one, make her your only one. Cheating is easy, try doing something challenging and be faithful. I want you to be happy though. Hope you and her happily ever after.
To the girl,
ermm, if you’re reading this. i guess you’ll know the feeling. Cause we’re girls. Everything will be backed to how it used to be. Everything will be alright. So don’t worry. Don’t stop loving but also don’t forget to love yourself more. same here. Hope you and him happily ever after. :)
I’m here writing this post, it still tearing me. Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in awhile, so we can see life with a clearer view again. Everybody wants happiness nobody wants pain. But you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain. Don’t trust too much. Don’t love too much. Because that too much will hurt you so much. So love yourself much more than others. Do not put your heart on someone’s hand until you’re sure they know how to hold it tight. People come people go. They’ll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favorite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on new ones. not the ones from the past. You might feel worthless to one person, but you are priceless to another. Don’t ever forget your value. This is what i learn.
Dear Brain, sorry for all overloading you with thoughts of him. Dear Tummy, sorry for all the butterflies. Dear Pillow, sorry for all the tears. Dear heart, sorry for all the damages. And now Everything is over. Is OVER.
WHATEVER HAPPENS , KEEP SMILING.
Back to DECEMBER.
NEW YEAR EVE 31.12.2011
I can feel the fireworks!! 
Sober girls around me actin like they drunk-unk-unk. 
HAPPY NEW YEAR + HAVING in THE CLUB. 
WOO~ is snowing! 
finally done GIF. now picture time. 
We don’t drink beer, we drink SOJU!
esther epic face. 
I love this picture mehh. 
too bad pm was holding the camera.
the pervert bunny behind us. 
macam really go clubbing.. 
having competition see who drink faster. lol jk. 
KISS KISS. 
Then, is the time to say bye bye. 
today 03.04.2012, i’m glad that we’re still are bestie like the old time. We had drifted apart after Form 5 when i went to NS and she started her college life. We met new different friends in new different place. But in our heart, we know “who is my real bestie”. Even though we’re not finding each other so often , but once we start a conversation it would be like a endless chatting take forever to end it. hahaha. When i sad you were always be there to make sure i’m okay. Thanks for being there for me. I LOVE YA.
kickassbunny: Dear sunhiii
I din’t do much, wish I could do more hahaha, you’re welcome baby gurl. :) <3
I think curiosity just saves you! Hahaha! yes girls ace at seeking for truth I agreee! When it comes to things like this, we gotta be more realistic, it’s nice to have dreams because it makes one happier and felt less sorrow but yeah I’m pretty sure you’ve always been that kind of girl, when serious matters like this happens. Among our gang, to me you’ve always been the one who remains strong at all problems and I respect that :D Yeah, people are constantly changing, from time to time, what you see is always not what you get, and hence our feelings T___T That’s hard, duh you always make it through!
The crazy, smartass, positive, mature, pretty, attractive, hot girl. wahhhhhhh its what every girls want hahahahahhahahaa so lucky nehh you! :p
& will always love you, <3 v^__^v
Dear Bunny,
hey, Thank you so much for cheering me up! Thank you.. <3
- love doesn’t comes easy for everyone, if it’s easy it isn’t worth it or you won’t appreciate as much
You got that right.. my curiosity kill myself but at the same time it wake me up.. Cause you know girls always find out the truth in the end. haha.. Never give up on finding the truth. Glad that i’m not like those girls who love to live in the dreams. The worst feeling is when someone makes you feel special, then suddenly leaves you hanging, and you have to act like you don’t care at all. This is the hardest part i guess? hahaaa. I will. who am i? Elin Yong weii not other gilrs! The crazy, smartass, positive, mature, pretty, attractive, hot girl mahh.. xDD *yam siew*
You too! thank you.. :) I LOVE YOU TOO, ESTHER.
那短暂的幸福 The Short Happiness.
那流星的光辉
点亮了眼前的黑暗
寂静的夜幕里 可以听到的只有心跳
呼吸在瞬间变得无声
眼睛里是摆在旧桌上的照片
眼泪
旋转着的圈圈
一层一层地晕开
滴落在心底的是 一个遥不可及的爱情
即使哭泣也是无所谓
因为在这里不过只是场虚华幻影
她离开
并不代表她不想留下
她知道
既然不能开始
就只能离去
When you meet someone special, you’ll know. Your heart will beat more rapidly and you’ll smile for no reason. This what i went through. Everytime you come to mind, I realize I’m smiling. For honestly, before i met you, i never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile for no reason. You have NO idea how fast my heart races when I see your charming smile. I kinda, sorta sometimes, still think about you all the time. I miss you, I miss me, I miss how we used to be. Sometimes, too much happiness can be frightening. ‘Cause you know, things END.
Soon, I found there’s lies in you. Eventhough is just a small lies maybe? but for me big or small, lies are lies. Once you did the first time, you’ll did the second times. I wanna trust you. But I can’t think of a single reason why I should. Cause i already know the truth. I will forgive you, but the way I look at you will never be the same as it used to be. Sometimes i feel like i am being forgotten. One question, Am I that easy to forget? haha. If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse. or is just i’m not that important but someone else do? I guess you just didn’t wanna stick around.
Can I assume that all the things you told me were real from the bottom of your heart? You said it cause you really meant it? like angel or maybe my smile? At least, it can make me feel better and it still a wonderful memories. I admit that i had crush on you. I was actually told you before but don’t think you realize that. The first time i willing to give a chance to myself to be in relationship but all the chances just blew away like this. I’m falling in in the halfway, but then i forced myself falling apart. Sometimes, I smile like an idiot when reading the old messages and never get bored to read all over again. At the same times, my heart was so painful. Until now, i’m still not willing to delete even one message although it make my inbox memory reached to the max. Maybe someday i will, if i did means i’ve already move on. Even the picture we took together is still in my wallet. I’m such a joke isn’t it? Hahas.
I’m not who I once was, because we aren’t who we once were. Letting go is hard, but sometimes holding on is more harder. Starting tonight, I need to forget what’s gone. Appreciate what still remains and look forward to. Don’t get me wrong, you still mean the world to me but you’re just not worth the fight anymore. But this isn’t goodbye. Wherever we are, you’ll always be in my heart. The special STAR in the deep down in my heart. You and i, were probably never meant to be but i loved every single second i spent with you. All the memories you have given me. The moment we shared together. The moment we’re fooling around. The moment we copy each other’s action especially the blowfish face. The moment we smile when we saw each other. I’ll never forgot, no not once. Not for one minute and not for one second. Even after all these months. You’re the 2STARS in ma heart. Hope that you won’t forget there’s a girl who named Elin Yong.
your sincerely,
Elin Yong.
OHH! MY FAIR SKIN! WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?! I’m so TAN right now. I need you back. Come to mama. COME please. D:
